I've had anxiety since I was about 13 years old [which I've just worked out means I've been dealing with feeling less than human for 10 years, seriously I can;t believe there's people who get through the day without feeling worried or anxious! In fact I can't believe that at one point I was one of those people]
I get anxious about lots of things, meeting people I don't know, Big crowds, Meeting people I do know, Getting sick, Being sick, What people think of me, The dentist, The doctors, The supermarket [I know even I'm embarrassed at myself], Travelling, Being a good mum, What people reading my blog think...... the list goes on.
Basically I'm a bit of a mess, I'm not sure why it started. But it hasn't stopped and it likes to team up on me with my IBS in the evil circle of, "am I going to have an IBS attack?" panicking about having a IBS attack and then the stress resulting in one. That coupled with severe acid reflux and I'm a walking perscription.
Now this isn't all doom and gloom, I've got a lot of coping mechanisms now and I'd say about 60% of the time I actually feel like a proper person [which is the highest its been in years!]. Anyway one of my coping mechanisms used to be writing motivational things on my wrists in biro. However I'm a grownup now, and nothing quite says stare at me like having "Be Brave" written on your wrists.
So I had to come up with a new solution just for me [actually I came up with this whilst having a panic attack about having to take lil man to the doctors and wondering if last nights takeaway was going to give me food poisoning]
So I made some wrist bands out of some old fake leather I had knocking around, you know the stuff that doesn't fray and is quite soft?]
The only sewing I did was putting on a button, I didn't even sew the button holes I just cut them. The bands are 3cm wide and I just kept trimming till they say snugly on my wrist.
I sounds weird but I just wanted something that made me feel a bit less like a scared little girl hiding in the corner and more like a gladiator/Xena/Khaleesi badass.
But this is the best part, my motivation I'm going to be okay stuff is hidden on the inside, just for me to see.
I feel a bit calmer and a bit more human. But that could be because I actually did something rather than sitting and wallowing in my own self pity.
Anyway I thought if it helped me it might help someone else! and if its doesn't they still look pretty badass!